Fantasy vs Reality


Being locked in a chastity device and having someone else control your orgasms is an exciting part of power exchange. Because orgasms are so powerful and such a great feeling, denying it is indeed one of the ultimate forms of power over someone. Many people (from all genders) fantasize about it, and you can find thousands upon thousands of memes about it online.

Most of the memes paint a picture that light the fire in many heads: being locked indefinitely, being completely at the mercy of another person, having to do everything the other party says even for just the promise of an orgasm, doing something wrong and having to stay locker for another month, etc.

There's no denying: reading all these, and even being told these in person can make anyone excited.

But... when you get a keyholder (be it someone you know personally, or a keyholder through ChastityDungeon.com, for example), what is it you really want?

If you don't want your fantasies destroyed, stop reading here. :)

Are you sure you want to read on? Okay... We warned you! :)

Let's get the most obvious myths out of the way first. Despite what the chastity memes say, there's no such thing as not being able to get out of chastity. Plastic cages can be broken off easily. Metal cages need a bit more work, but since the lock is so tiny in them, you can pick them open even with a piece of paper. "Permalocked" metal cages require some more work, but there's no such thing as never being able to get the cage or belt off.

The next myth is orgasm denial. If you have a penis, you can pull it out of most cages, even if your balls are still locked in place by the chastity cage. There's nothing stopping you from having an orgasm now. Cages that utilize a penis piercing are a lot harder to pull out of, but keep reading.

Even if you stay in the cage completely, there are multiple ways for you to have an orgasm. You can use a vibrator on the cage and on your balls to achieve an orgasm. You can use electro stimulation to achieve an orgasm. If you're in an open cage, you can even just use your hand to achieve an orgasm.

If it's so easy to cheat, what's the point? you may ask. Just as with any other game, if you cheat, you ruin your own fun. So don't. Realize that your fantasy of never having an orgasm unless allowed, is up to you. It's in your head. It's a mind game. If you want to be serious about the chastity game, then do what you are told, and don't cheat. Even when you easily can. Does this mean that chastity cages and belts are useless? Absolutely not. They are a constant reminder that you are locked up for a reason. And since it's a mind game, such a small thing as a constant reminder can go a long way.

Takeaway #1: follow your own rules. You're locked up for a reason. Stick to it.

Another fantasy is about lock-times. I'll be locked up for a month. I'll be locked up for an entire year. Can these be done? Sure. Can these be done by someone new to chastity? Probably not.

The first thing is getting used to your cage or belt. This has nothing to do with how long you can stay without an orgasm. This is a physical thing. Your body needs to get used to the cage or belt. Give it time. Leave it on for extended periods of time. Get used to it.

Once the cage or belt is comfortable, it's time to face your orgasms. Or the lack of them, anyway. How long can you go? If you're used to having many orgasms (which you likely are if you're reading this blog), then going without one for a couple of days will be hard at first. Getting over the 3-4-day mark will most likely be the most difficult part. This might be nothing without a cage or belt, but with the constant reminder on your body, the same amount of time can be a lot more challenging. Get used to being locked up for 3-4 days before moving on to longer times. Your body needs time to adjust. When you can easily take four days, things get a little easier, but you still need to take this transition slowly. Keep adding a few days, keep breaking your record if you can, but now and then, give yourself a break, and enjoy your hard-earned orgasm. Build up the time slowly. When you're just starting out, it will be difficult. The Internet might suggest that it's easy to stay without an orgasm for months at a time, but it isn't. It's a nice fantasy, but the reality is different. In reality, you need to work up to those times, if that's really what you want.

Takeaway #2: start slow. Only a few days locked at first, and slowly increase your time. Don't attempt an extreme amount of time, and get discouraged if you can't do it.

Be realistic with your expectations. Don't say you want to be locked for two months, when you have never been locked for more than a few days, or not even that. Your fantasy will say one thing, but in reality, you're only prepared for another. Do what you are prepared for, so you can eventually reach what your fantasy says. This requires practice and discipline. Don't give up! But know that it's not as easy as all those Internet memes suggest.

And of course, we at ChastityDungeon.com, are here to help you along your journey. If you tell us your current limits and your goals, we can help you achieve them. Not overnight, though. This takes time. Be ready to put in the time that is necessary to achieve those fantasies of yours!

Never give up! We're here to help.

Always remember that this is a game, and you're doing it to have fun!